Written by a pelvic floor physical therapist at Empower Your Pelvis, in Kansas City, Missouri (Lee Summit, MO and Overland Park, KS)

The two most common questions I hear from new moms are:

1. “When can I start having sex again?”

2. “When can I start working out?”

These are things you may have enjoyed pre-baby, and getting back to them can help you feel more like yourself. Whether it’s exercise for stress relief or intimacy with your partner, these activities are part of finding your “new normal” after childbirth.

Returning to Intimacy: When is it Safe?

Most women wait until their six-week postpartum check-up for the go-ahead to resume intercourse. However, every woman’s body heals differently—some may feel ready before six weeks, while others may need more time. In those first six weeks, it’s essential to give your body the time it needs to heal. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Wait for Bleeding to Stop: Before resuming sex, make sure your postpartum bleeding has ended.

• Scar Tissue Healing: If you had a tear, episiotomy, or C-section, ensure the scar tissue has had adequate time to heal. For some, especially with more severe tears (grade 3 and 4), complete healing can take 6-12 months. Rushing into intercourse can aggravate these areas, so listen to your body and don’t push through pain.

At your six-week check-up, ask your healthcare provider about a referral to pelvic floor physical therapy. A pelvic health PT can guide you in gentle scar massage to aid tissue healing and assess if your body is ready for exercise or intimate activity.

If You Had a Cesarean Birth

A C-section can also affect your comfort during sex. Scar tissue in the lower abdomen can reduce blood flow to vaginal muscles, causing tension and discomfort during intimacy. I experienced this after my second C-section, and pelvic floor physical therapy made a huge difference. A pelvic health PT can help you learn scar massage techniques for both the abdomen and pelvic muscles, improving blood flow and reducing discomfort.

Coping with Vaginal Dryness

Many new moms experience vaginal dryness, especially if they’re breastfeeding or pumping. With decreased estrogen levels, vaginal tissues can feel thinner and more prone to dryness, which may even lead to minor tears. Here are some helpful tips:

• Use a Water-Based Lubricant: Brands like SYLK, YES, and Good Clean Love, or natural oils like coconut oil, can help reduce friction during sex. (If using condoms as your sole form of protection, avoid coconut oil, as it can weaken them.)

• Stay Hydrated: Hydration is essential for overall healing and can help reduce dryness.

• Kegel Exercises: Gentle Kegels before sex can increase blood flow and help improve comfort.

Finding Your Sex Drive

The postpartum period brings its own set of challenges—exhaustion, hormonal shifts, and adjusting to a new routine. It’s normal for intimacy to feel low on your priority list. Still, connecting with your partner, even in small ways, can help maintain closeness. Consider starting with “outercourse”—simple acts of connection like hand-holding, cuddling, or even light foreplay. Building intimacy in ways that feel comfortable can help restore that bond with your partner.

Key Takeaways

Be patient with your body as it heals, and move at a pace that feels right for you. Painful intercourse is not normal, so if discomfort persists, speak to your healthcare provider and ask about seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist. With proper support, you can look forward to a healthy, comfortable, and enjoyable return to intimacy.

Get Professional Help

If you're looking for “pelvic floor therapy near me”, consider scheduling a consultation at one of our locations in Kansas City-Overland Park, Kansas, or Lees Summit, Missouri. Click here to book your appointment.

Join the Body After Birth Program

Are you ready to take control of your postpartum recovery and tackle the challenges caused by pregnancy and childbirth? The Body After Birth programoffers the comprehensive support you need to heal, strengthen, and thrive. Join today and start your journey to feeling your best, both inside and out!

With wellness in your pelvis-

Amanda Fisher, PT, DPT
Owner, Empower Your Pelvis, a pelvic floor physical therapy clinic in Kansas City (Lee’s Summit, MO and Overland Park, KS)