Understanding and Addressing Pain with Sex
By Marin Cole - Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist at Empower Your Pelvis, in Kansas City, Missouri (Lee Summit, MO and Overland Park, KS)
Talking about sex can feel like an uncomfortable, even taboo, topic. But why is that? When I was 18 and living in France, I was often asked why it seemed like Americans were afraid to talk openly about sex. At the time, I didn’t have a clear answer. However, after entering the field of pelvic floor physical therapy, it became more apparent: many people aren’t asked about their sexual health during routine healthcare visits. It’s often seen as too “personal” or “inappropriate,” and because of that, the conversation is often avoided.
This silence can lead to people enduring painful experiences during intimacy without seeking help, believing it’s just something they have to live with. As a pelvic floor physical therapist, it's heartbreaking to hear patients say no one has ever asked about their sexual health or that they’ve stayed quiet because they thought their pain was “normal” or “not that bad.”
October is Pelvic Pain Awareness Month, and it's important to highlight that while pain during sex is common, it is not normal. If you're experiencing this, you're not alone—and we're here to help.
Common Causes of Pain with Sex
Pelvic pain during intercourse can stem from various conditions, and pelvic floor physical therapy can help manage many of them. Here are some common diagnoses:
Dyspareunia – This is the medical term for “pain with sex,” and it refers to pain that isn’t linked to an underlying disease.
Vaginismus – This condition occurs when the pelvic floor muscles spasm during intercourse (or during a pelvic exam or tampon insertion), making penetration painful, difficult, or even impossible.
Vulvodynia – This is chronic pain of the vulva, the external area of the genitals, which can cause discomfort ranging from mild to severe, especially with initial penetration.
Pudendal Neuralgia – This happens when a nerve in the pelvic region is irritated or damaged, contributing to pain during intercourse.
These are just a few examples of pelvic pain conditions that can affect your experience during intimacy. However, the good news is that pelvic floor physical therapy offers solutions. In some cases, a collaborative approach involving multiple healthcare professionals may be necessary to address the issue holistically, but physical therapy is often the first and most conservative step.
How Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy Can Help
Treatment approaches are tailored to your individual needs and may include:
Breathing Retraining – Learning how to properly engage your diaphragm can help relieve tension in the pelvic floor.
Vaginal Dilators or Pelvic Wands – These tools may be recommended to assist in relaxing tight pelvic floor muscles and reducing discomfort.
Every person’s experience with pelvic pain is unique, and no two treatment plans are the same. At Empower Your Pelvis, we treat every patient with a personalized approach based on their individual needs and experiences.
If you're experiencing pain with sex, don't stay silent. Talk to your doctor and reach out to a pelvic floor physical therapist—your body will thank you.
Get Professional Help
If you're looking for “pelvic floor therapy near me”, consider scheduling a consultation at one of our locations in Kansas City-Overland Park, Kansas, or Lees Summit, Missouri. Click here to book your appointment.
Join Our Empowered in the Bedroom Program
Struggling with discomfort during intimacy? It’s time to take back control and find lasting relief. Our Empowered in the Bedroom program provides you with the tools, knowledge, and support to ease discomfort, rebuild confidence, and strengthen your connection with your body. Enroll today and take the first step towards enjoying a comfortable and satisfying intimate life—feeling empowered, refreshed, and renewed!
With wellness in your pelvis-
Amanda Fisher, PT, DPT
Owner, Empower Your Pelvis, a pelvic floor physical therapy clinic in Kansas City (Lee’s Summit, MO and Overland Park, KS)